Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Holding my breath. . .

Ok so it seems I've been getting lots for questions in person, e-mail and on here about where we are with adoption. I thought I had made it clear. But you know sometimes you have it all figured out in your head but haven't expressed it out loud (or in writing). . . well that's not me! I don't have anything figured out but have been thinking and praying and trying to figure it out. I don't think I will ever figure out the ups and downs of adoption I just have to trust that God's ways are higher than my ways. ( Even thought it's really hard sometimes!) 

Anyway, I got an e-mail from a friend today asking me about the baby and because of who she is i was able to just write it all out in what ended up to be sort of healing for me. When I was done I felt so good and realized that is what I had been needing to post. So here it is. I just pasted it in here. 

Ok now baby news. Well, the baby in Alabama is not ours. That situation fell through and our profiles have been back out for 2 weeks, so we are still praying for the baby that is suppose to be part of our family. It's a roller coaster of emotions but God has felt so close through it all. (Even when I've spent a few angry moments with him) It's really weird I thought this summer was just going to be wild and crazy and I was going to be gone for 2 weeks, I even worried about missing summer. Now that fireworks season is over and we had a big family wedding last weekend , this week seems quiet. I find myself wondering what I should do next , because really the schedule is pretty open. I have been having a great summer with the kids ( and Aaron too of course).

So keep praying! Pray that God has a little person out there that is meant for our family. Pray I will have patience and not lose hope. Pray that I will remember to live one day at a time and learn what God wants to teach me. 

Wow, that felt good! Who new a 7 word e-mail would help me get out what I've been feeling in words. It sort of felt like an exhale for my soul when I feel like I've been holding me breath.

*** Welcome to blogland my sweet friend Misty she is a very talented writer and I know once she gets going many of you who are lurkers on my blog will be hooked out her blog as well.  


Mama Misty said...

Way to welcome me, friend!! Thanks a LOT now everyone will want to lurk and see something great!! (Won't they be surprised when all there is is little old me...) Well for all you curious people, is my page.

And friend, know that you are prayed for OFTEN!!! I love you and seeing God stretch and grow (while at times is awfully hard, I know) means he is just preparing you. You will look back on this adoption experience and when your adopted child is grown you will say, look what God has brought me (us) through. HE IS AMAZING!!

And here's an amusing thing, the word verification is nusky. Nusky?? really that is almost a work...Keep your chin up!! LOVE YOU!!

Stepping Out of the Boat said...

oh valerie, i completely understand where you are at. adoption will bring you to the strangest places and emotions that you never realized were within you. i get it...i totally get you. i want to recommend streams in the desert devotional book by l. b. cowman...make sure to get the updated version. this devotional was my breath of hope many days when our adoption journey was really, really hard. you will be very encouraged and uplifted.

Anonymous said...

Hi Valerie,
Glen and Kadie were so excited to run into you at Mcdon's. It was esp good for Kadie since we pray together for you all EVERY day. We know how hard the waiting is, but you really are doing sooooooo good. Sometimes we forget how powerful God's strength is. We love you. Call when it will work to get together. Penny